Project Accessory: someone was robbed!

brian burkhart

I’m not sure who should have won, but I do know that Brian was my ABSOLUTE last choice for the winner. I hated every thing he made, from those chunky, unflattering wedges to that unicorn horn bulky clutch, to that milky icicle bib necklace thing. The final challenge items were the least offensive, I’ll say that, but otherwise I was absolutely horrified by how messy and chunky and completely hideous everything he made was. I rarely say such mean things on the blog, but it has to be said. I don’t care what Alexa Chung thinks, this is not cool (and for sure not worth $300)!

bag

I don’t know why, but for some reason I imagine these shoes weighing hundreds of pounds, like whoever is wearing them is being murdered by the mob and their corpse is being disposed of. Wouldn’t that be horrible? It’s just adding insult to injury. And then you’d be discovered and you couldn’t defend yourself! People would think that you DRESSED like that!

shoes

The frozen milk necklace. I can’t imagine ever wanting to wear a bug covered in Wite-out with plastic icicles coming out of its butt. It’s one of those conversation pieces where it’s just so loud and out-there that people feel they have to comment on it, because clearly the only reason anyone would wear it is so that other people will ask about it. “Yes, it’s really more of an art piece than a piece of jewelry, it’s just so unique and really makes a statement, oh no, it’s one-of-a-kind, it wouldn’t matter even if I told you where I got it,” etc.

necklace

I’m not necessarily saying that Nina or Rich should have won, because Nina’s stuff is beautiful and wearable and awesome but not innovative, and Rich had cool stuff but only when he was in his element (dark, moody, metallic, bugs). I actually liked Christina the best, although she did do poorly in the challenge that she lost.

all pics via Lifetime.com

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